Coping with the Co-void
Right now we all find ourselves in a very challenging moment in history during this time of corona virus. We are all stuck at home, either alone or with our loved ones. There is so much uncertainty and fear abroad that you can almost feel it like a weight on your chest the moment you wake up. In these times more than ever, it is so important that we attend to ourselves and our well-being. Uncertainty is one of human beings most hated realities and we generally spend so much of our life trying to fill that void with whatever certainty we can. The hours stretch long and the days somehow pass quickly, but regardless, there is no mystery that we are deeply in the void at this time.
While we are all physically distancing, we are simultaneously experiencing the most collective trauma that has happened in most of our lifetimes (and even in human history). There is great loss, whether it be someone close or the collective grief of those who are suffering at this time. It is so easy to feel isolated when we are not getting our usual fix of human contact; however, there is an opportunity right now to tune in to the collective. We may not be powerful to stop this virus but what we are able to do is to choose to tune into our deep connection to all humans on the planet at this time. There is an opportunity to draw comfort from the strength of the human spirit and to hold love for those who are suffering just like us. When we connect to the collective, we can feel less lonely in this time of change and uncertainty. Perhaps you could light a candle for those suffering in Italy or do a loving-kindness meditation to send healing to people's hearts and the planet. By holding a space of love and connection for others, we can shift our internal experience from one of fear to love.
This Great Pause that we all find ourselves in is a time rich for introspection. Although it may be tempting to dive head-first into those un-ending tasks we seem to pile up or to avoid the discomfort by filling our time with media, try taking a few moments for self-reflection. Journaling, meditation or creative expression are some great tools to deepen your relationship with self during this time. This could be a ripe time to look at your values and how you are living them or to ask yourself how you want to show up at this time. There is an opportunity to evaluate your path in life and decide if there are ways you may want to make a course correction or if there is something you have been longing to do that you have put off. When the outside world turns off, the rich inner world turns on like a flame in a dark night.
While our narrative that we tell ourselves matters during this time, whether we are resting in the heart or getting trapped in fear, there are also some concrete tools that can help to keep us sane during this absurd time.
Coping with the Co-Void:
1. Permission Giving-
Right now, you may feel more lethargic, depressed or unmotivated. Some may feel more anxious and restless. Whatever you are feeling, welcome that and accept it. The more we judge ourselves for the way we cope, the harder it becomes to get out and through that emotional space. If you feel the need to rest extra, allow yourself to do so with gentleness. Speak to yourself as a mother would speak to her small child who is distressed. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, knowing that this time is extremely difficult for everyone. If emotions arise, see if you can give them permission to flow through you and become aware of your body sensations during that time rather than getting into your story about the emotion.
2. Mindfulness-
Take breaks in your day to just be. There are many ways to be mindful, so experiment with what works for you. Some enjoy solo meditation or doing a guided meditation. My favorite app for meditation is Insight Timer. A few other mindfulness tools are to stop several times in the day and just notice one thing you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. By becoming more aware of our environment, we can get out of our heads and all the busy thoughts that may cause extra anxiety. Another tool is to do one thing mindfully. You can cook, or clean or read but do it with an extra amount of attention. While cooking, I can notice the texture of the apple, the sound of the knife as I chop and the sensations in my body as I do so. Mindfulness is all about getting out of the thoughts and into our senses. I love to tell myself, "In this moment my body is safe", because as much as anxiety may feel real, in this moment we are often safe.
3. Contribution
If you are feeling isolated and disconnected from the world, it may be helpful to think about ways you could help others in need. There are many people sewing masks for hospitals and delivering food to the elderly. If you do not feel safe doing these things or leaving the house, is there a restaurant you could support by getting to-go food to help keep them in business? It may seem difficult to know how you can help, but with a little searching online, there are many projects happening now to create community mutual aid.
4. Limit Social Media
It seems like right now the only thing anyone can talk about is Covid-19. With people constantly posting articles, death rates and videos about the virus; it can be hard to take a little time to tune out. Try limiting your news time to 15-30 minutes per day or taking a facebook fast for a week to give your nervous system a break. Every time we read something alarming to ourselves, our amygdala (the fear center of the brain) turns on and it can take quite some time to ramp that process back down.
5. Spiritual Practice
This goes for anyone practicing a religion to even those who may be atheist. Taking time to connect through meditation, prayer or being in nature is so crucial right now. This is a time of surrender and we are all learning how we are not always in control of our lives. Spending time in nature can help us to remember our inter-connectedness with all of life. Meditation can help us to gain insight or find more calm when the world seems to feel like chaos.
I hope this helps you navigate the co-void with grace. I love the phrase I have seen on the internet of 'physical distance, social solidarity'. It is beautiful to see so many people taking responsibility for the health and well-being of the most vulnerable in our society. Take this time to reach out to the ones you love to stay connected, and remember also the importance of reaching out for help if you are struggling yourself.
